Every once in a while a trash walker gets her/his just desserts. This was one of those mornings.
On the flip side, however, a new addition is welcomed to my ‘Most Hated’ list of junk.
So much for the serene piety of pre-dawn trash walks. Not this morning.
I didn’t sleep like a baby, but maybe a 12 or 14 year old. The internal alarm didn’t go off until 7:30, the rough (and glorious) equivalent of a teenager bagging until noon. By my standards, most trash walks would already be finished and litter would have been spilled all over the driveway for the obligatory photo op.
Owing to the later start, the sun was already well above the eastern horizon and it was much warmer than usual. But late start or no, the junk was still there. The bright morning just made litter a bit easier to spot.
It also made it easier to espy one of my luckier finds in recent memory.
As I reached Phillips Place, I veered onto the eastern entryway and cut through the parking lot to check out the theater marquee in case there was a film worth spending $7.50 on (senior rate). Since nothing piqued my interest, I kept on moving westward and soon was adjacent to the front door of Dean & DeLuca.
And there it was, folded and slightly rumpled on the curb just feet away from the trendy crowd sipping some pricey no foam-soy latte-frappachino concoctions on the trendy outdoor tables: The unmistakeable likeness of President Andrew Jackson on his namesake $20 bill. No doubt the trendy set saw me stoop to retrieve my new best friend. (If it was me ordering coffee, spare me the frills. Just give me something jet black with no room for cream.) But Andy will be spent one something else.
And that wasn’t the final monetary find. A dime and two pennies were located in close proximity to each other along Sharon Road.
Geez, I lived large this morning. The mere act of picking up junk always brings a measure of satisfaction and a sometimes-smile, but the fortuitous $20 made my grin a little wider.
Heretofore, the list of most-evil trash includes anything polystyrene, those disgusting tooth floss thingies, and drinking straws.
But there’s a new irritant that makes a debut at #4 on that most-sordid list.
There’s a peculiar kind of large clear plastic drink cup that I find with maddening regularity.
Purveyors of this insideous cup include P.F. Changs, Starbucks and Nordstrom’s, among others.
But here’s what really drives me crazy about these cups. When smashed, the plastic breaks lengthwise but the sides remain hinged to the round bottom, almost in a rosette shape. It makes it tough to tuck the remnants into the plastic Harris Teeter bag. The sharp edges often rip holes into the bag causing the contents to spill – the net effect of which really sends me into a rage.
So welcome these demonic rosettes to my most offensive list.