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Trump vows to defund Pick Up Your Path …

WASHINGTON – President Trump, in another budget slashing move aimed at strengthening his war chest to build his multi-billion wall between the U.S. and Mexico, has taken dead aim at funding for Pick Up Your Path (PUYP).

“Wasteful, very, very wasteful, incredibly wasteful,” said the president to Fox and Breitbart reporters. In an early morning tweet from the presidential bathroom, the president called PUYP “… fake trash collection. The worst kind of fake collection. Totally fake. Sad.”

In follow up remarks to the media to clarify Trump’s ‘fake collection’ assertion, Trump’s budget director, Mick Mulvaney said while PUYP has photographic evidence of daily litter collection, “Pick Up Your Path sounds great,” but the federal government should no longer give money to “programs that don’t work.” He estimated Pick Up Your Path’s share of the federal budget at 31 cents.

In response, Pick Up Your Path editor David Bradley defended his fledgling program by saying it is largely funded by Buy One, Get One free purchases at Harris Teeter whereby extra expenditures yield more plastic bags used to hold litter and trash found on his walks. He estimated his yearly bag usage at between 300 – 400 but offered no other specifics.

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PUYP may need to divert financial reserves in the form of found coinage to offset federal budget cuts.

But when pressed further by reporters who cited surveillance through microwaves in the store’s deli section, Bradley admitted not all Harris Teeter bags are filled to capacity at the store. He also sometimes double bags wine and beer purchases in order to gain additional bags and “on occasion” bananas are bagged separately from other items. “I’m not proud of that,” he said. Bradley didn’t discount that he may approach Harris Teeter for corporate sponsorship in the form of free bags. Harris Teeter declined comment beyond saying “We have seen no evidence of extra bag pilferage by customers.” Bradley did not respond to questions about how much, if any, federal money is diverted to new walking shoes.

“I’m devastated that we will lose our federal budget,” Bradley said. The shortfall, he believes, will likely be made up by coins found regularly on his daily walks. While condemning those who fling bottles, cans and fast food packaging aside, he added “Bless those souls who toss out coins along with their trash. I hope they begin to throw out quarters and dimes instead of pennies.”

 

About Dave Bradley (264 Articles)
I was a writer by trade so one would think letters would come easily for me. It is so now, but wasn't always that way. Indeed, the first letter was written the Monday after Ellen started her freshman year in college. For years I've wondered - with no good answers - why I swiveled my office chair toward my computer screen to fire up a word processing document for that first letter. I just don't know. I just did. Perhaps it was the angst of separation or wanting to say things that had gone unsaid at that moment when we parted ways in front of her college dormitory. What was a one-off became habitual. When her brother Reid enrolled in the same college, his name was added to the salutation line. They were kids then and are adults now. No matter. The letter writing habit remains so today. I live in Brevard, North Carolina. I'm well away from where they live and don't see them nearly as often as I'd like. That's why letters, at least to me, fill the void of distance. The pages give me something to say and the space to say it. There is no assurance they read the letters; indeed, I have never asked if they do so. With the pace of their busy lives who could blame them for letting a letter sit unopened? Over time, it has dawned on me that the letters are both communicative - and cathartic. By nature, letters are about the writer; the writer can only write about their situation. Perhaps that is as it should be. It's all about the here and now from one person's perspective.

1 Comment on Trump vows to defund Pick Up Your Path …

  1. “Trump vows to defund…” is witty and articulate, Dave! And so true, folks, so true.

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